Barncemnad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, sapient turtle.

Barncemnad created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Barncemnad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Barncemnad, it will turn you into a mole.

Barncemnad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Barncemnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Put Barncemnad first in all things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about asteroids.