Gudlakbin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish mole.

Gudlakbin created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudlakbin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gudlakbin, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gudlakbin's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gudlakbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.