Nadyarpzed is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciful narwhal.

Nadyarpzed created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadyarpzed, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nadyarpzed, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nadyarpzed's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nadyarpzed's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nadyarpzed.

2. Never chant in the presence of sharks.

3. Never hurt horses.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.