Sasyarpfar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tiresome gnu.

Sasyarpfar created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sasyarpfar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sasyarpfar, he will turn you into a worm.

Sasyarpfar's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sasyarpfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Do not take Sasyarpfar's name in vain.

4. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

5. Never write about dark energy.