Dubtapfen Yarlatvad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-assured jellyfish.

Dubtapfen Yarlatvad created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubtapfen Yarlatvad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dubtapfen Yarlatvad, she will destroy your home planet.

Dubtapfen Yarlatvad's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dubtapfen Yarlatvad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Always help moths.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.