Veenstaftab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome narwhal.

Veenstaftab created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Veenstaftab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Veenstaftab, she will turn you into a rat.

Veenstaftab's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Veenstaftab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.