Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, intelligent yak.

Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss, he will throw large rocks at you.

Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Begtanved Tettihabxemdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.