Kemflyflap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent hamster.

Kemflyflap created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemflyflap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemflyflap, it will turn you into a goat.

Kemflyflap's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kemflyflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing orange jumpers and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Snakes are not to be trusted.

5. Never look in ponds.