Laktigrow is a god.

She takes the form of a small, humorless armadillo.

Laktigrow created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laktigrow, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laktigrow, she will turn you into a snail.

Laktigrow's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Laktigrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Laktigrow loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed oranges to gulls while wearing green shorts.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Laktigrow on top of all buildings.

5. Always take life seriously.