Gabhakrap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, caring chinchilla.

Gabhakrap created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabhakrap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gabhakrap, he will torture you forever.

Gabhakrap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gabhakrap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gabhakrap.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Run away if three geese approach from the east.