Nurlfitkab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic clam.

Nurlfitkab created the Virgo Supercluster six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfitkab, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurlfitkab, it will destroy your home planet.

Nurlfitkab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nurlfitkab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine seals approach from the east.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always help mice.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.