Sasbadzen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent hedgehog.

Sasbadzen created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasbadzen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sasbadzen, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sasbadzen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sasbadzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Never sprint in the presence of tapirs.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.