Cetortpit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow narwhal.

Cetortpit created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Cetortpit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetortpit, he will be very unhappy.

Cetortpit's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Cetortpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cetortpit.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Cetortpit loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat whales with great respect.