Tomsidpad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish deer.

Tomsidpad created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomsidpad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tomsidpad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tomsidpad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tomsidpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the east.

4. Tomsidpad loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing mauve kilts and balancing five silver spheres on your head.