Tunwik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty bee.

Tunwik created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunwik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunwik, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tunwik's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tunwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back violet.

2. Retreat if four voles approach from the south.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Tunwik loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.