Kopvogkap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive wren.

Kopvogkap created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Kopvogkap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kopvogkap, she will turn you into a rock.

Kopvogkap's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kopvogkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never hop in the presence of bats.

5. Never sit in holy places.