Tiknabzig is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak bear.

Tiknabzig created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiknabzig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tiknabzig, it will send you a sign.

Tiknabzig's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tiknabzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never feed cucumbers to doves while wearing black shorts.

3. Never talk about gulls.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.