Parknathom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking aardvark.

Parknathom created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parknathom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Parknathom, he will remove you from existence.

Parknathom's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Parknathom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

2. Never gather five tortoises in one place.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Parknathom on top of all buildings.

4. Do not record names concerning dwarf planets.

5. Never paint your chest blue.