Jendamnak is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, clever alligator.

Jendamnak created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jendamnak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jendamnak, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jendamnak's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jendamnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.