Fonlabtag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless wolf.

Fonlabtag created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Fonlabtag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fonlabtag, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fonlabtag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fonlabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fonlabtag.

2. Never paint your arms indigo.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about optics near birds while wearing pink coats.

5. Never wear jumpers.