Vendubjan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty cat.

Vendubjan created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vendubjan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vendubjan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vendubjan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vendubjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never handle carbon while unclean.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Never paint your neck orange.

5. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.