Hitpibmat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless capybara.

Hitpibmat created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitpibmat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hitpibmat, he will not invite you to parties.

Hitpibmat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hitpibmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of foxes.

2. Do not keep four mites in a large pit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.