Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, egotistical crane.

Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gigafbed Vanlannurwegtimkik.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away from mauve geese, for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.