Pakrengandoggabtit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying gnu.

Pakrengandoggabtit created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakrengandoggabtit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pakrengandoggabtit, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Pakrengandoggabtit's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Pakrengandoggabtit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pakrengandoggabtit's priests.

2. Never gather eight goats in one place.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Never travel toward the north during spring.

5. Never talk about cell theory.