Tettifadgud is a god.

It takes the form of a small, idiotic rat.

Tettifadgud created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettifadgud, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tettifadgud, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tettifadgud's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tettifadgud's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tettifadgud seven times a day.

2. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Never wear gray shoes.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not speak about lemons.