Gupjinzakkom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic crocodile.

Gupjinzakkom created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Gupjinzakkom, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gupjinzakkom, he will destroy your home planet.

Gupjinzakkom's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gupjinzakkom's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear pink stockings.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never eat bark.