Kapvilnell is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid gerbil.

Kapvilnell created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapvilnell, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kapvilnell, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kapvilnell's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Kapvilnell's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed peas to sharks while wearing blue ear rings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.