Tamcutbap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless wyrm.

Tamcutbap created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Tamcutbap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tamcutbap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tamcutbap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tamcutbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying bone.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Fast once a month.