Quat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish lobster.

Quat created a photon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quat, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Quat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quat.

3. Never talk about foxes.

4. Always remove boots before touching platinum.

5. You must never eat grapes.