Sabwonsaffon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental manatee.

Sabwonsaffon created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabwonsaffon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sabwonsaffon, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sabwonsaffon's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sabwonsaffon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight iron sculptures of Sabwonsaffon on top of important buildings.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Sabwonsaffon in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.