Vonvilfun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless finch.

Vonvilfun created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonvilfun, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonvilfun, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vonvilfun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vonvilfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear red shirts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Worship no other gods but Vonvilfun.