Taftinmablambem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited pigeon.

Taftinmablambem created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taftinmablambem, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Taftinmablambem, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Taftinmablambem's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Taftinmablambem's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Taftinmablambem loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing fawn skirts.