Ratlamlik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ruthless chicken.

Ratlamlik created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Ratlamlik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratlamlik, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ratlamlik's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ratlamlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Run away if six ants approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ratlamlik.