Dad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain octopus.

Dad created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dad, she will cry a lot.

Dad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear shorts marked with gray.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.