Middunbig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless hippopotamus.

Middunbig created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Middunbig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Middunbig, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Middunbig's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Middunbig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

2. Middunbig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Middunbig.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.