Loptettiwat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet salamander.

Loptettiwat created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Loptettiwat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Loptettiwat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Loptettiwat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Loptettiwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must pray to Loptettiwat six times a day.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.