Wikvabzab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous mongoose.

Wikvabzab created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikvabzab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wikvabzab, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wikvabzab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wikvabzab's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not take Wikvabzab's name in vain.

3. Erect seven iron sculptures of Wikvabzab on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.