Sagbonton is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating hamster.

Sagbonton created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Sagbonton, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sagbonton, she will turn you into a rock.

Sagbonton's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sagbonton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sagbonton.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Sagbonton on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.