Flowvonkhud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish goose.

Flowvonkhud created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Flowvonkhud, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flowvonkhud, he will think nothing of it.

Flowvonkhud's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flowvonkhud's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Flowvonkhud loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not chop down trees.