Zanwabtif is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring fish.

Zanwabtif created the Black Eye Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwabtif, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanwabtif, it will jump up and down on your head.

Zanwabtif's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Zanwabtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back magenta.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always help squirrels in need.