Kapnullbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, quiet lizard.

Kapnullbap created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapnullbap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kapnullbap, she will turn you into a plant.

Kapnullbap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kapnullbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.