Matruttun is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unjust mole.

Matruttun created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Matruttun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Matruttun, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Matruttun's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Matruttun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Hide from purple ducks for they are unholy.

4. Do not keep five eagles in a large pit.

5. Fast once a month.