Fottimarp is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring tapir.

Fottimarp created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fottimarp, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fottimarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fottimarp's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fottimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three voles in one place.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Do not take Fottimarp's name in vain.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.