Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate newt.

Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vilpoghugcedgadbongettif's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.