Jinvanfab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, intelligent skunk.

Jinvanfab created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinvanfab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jinvanfab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Jinvanfab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jinvanfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinvanfab.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Always take life seriously.