Tikyarpzim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair octopus.

Tikyarpzim created the Sunflower Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikyarpzim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikyarpzim, he will not care.

Tikyarpzim's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tikyarpzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Tikyarpzim loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.