Parktitflow is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, impressive raccoon.

Parktitflow created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parktitflow, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Parktitflow, it will turn you into a plant.

Parktitflow's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Parktitflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near whales while wearing green trousers.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

4. Run away if nine gulls approach from the south.

5. Never feed tomatoes to horses while wearing magenta coats.