Gab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, slow whale.

Gab created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gab, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never look in ponds.