Tailstafvon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental dove.

Tailstafvon created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailstafvon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailstafvon, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tailstafvon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tailstafvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

2. Tailstafvon loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Feed all hungry whales.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tailstafvon in the centre of the settlement.