Vonkaffun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, wise deer.

Vonkaffun created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkaffun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonkaffun, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonkaffun's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Vonkaffun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Vonkaffun in the centre of the settlement.