Yarmitven is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered mouse.

Yarmitven created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarmitven, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarmitven, it will destroy your home planet.

Yarmitven's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yarmitven's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick frogs.

2. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing five tin spheres on your face.