Nutbognart is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, humorless porpoise.

Nutbognart created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Nutbognart, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nutbognart, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nutbognart's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nutbognart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Hide if three ants approach from the south.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Retreat if five gulls approach from the east.

5. Never talk about fire.