Omtkimtin is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sage hare.

Omtkimtin created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtkimtin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Omtkimtin, he will torture you forever.

Omtkimtin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Omtkimtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Worship no other gods but Omtkimtin.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Omtkimtin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not make images of living things.