Libwabtim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonourable crocodile.

Libwabtim created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libwabtim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Libwabtim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Libwabtim's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Libwabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Never feed lots of pineapples to geese while wearing white ear rings.

4. Never feed lentils to manatees while wearing mauve scarves.

5. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.